Once, there was a man called Uncle Ritch. He lived in Auld Reekie, the capital city of a land far, far away called Scotland.
Uncle Ritch had a wee yellow boat. He liked to take his boat on the sea. He liked to take his boat on the Scottish lochs. He liked to take his boat on flat canals. He didn’t like to take his boat on rivers. Rivers flow too fast and make Uncle Ritch scared.
One day, Uncle Ritch made a plan. He would take his little yellow boat on canals, lochs, and seas and go round the middle chunk of Scotland.
Uncle Ritch set off on a sunny day in May. He paddled his little yellow boat on a canal that took him all the way to Glasgow. Glasgow is a city even bigger and reekier than Auld Reekie itself.
He quickly left Glasgow and got on the river Clyde. Luckily for Uncle Ritch, the Clyde is a special river that flows slowly. Uncle Ritch was not scared.
He continued his journey on seas and canals until he reached the biggest canal of all: the Caledonian Canal in the Great Glen of Scotland.
The Caledonian Canal is so big that it contains three lochs: Loch Lochie, Loch Oich, and Loch Ness.
Uncle Ritch paddled his wee yellow boat on Loch Lochie. He paddled on Loch Oich. He then came to Loch Ness – the biggest loch in all of Scotland.
Uncle Ritch was not scared. He liked to paddle on lochs. But what Uncle Ritch did not know was that Loch Ness is home to a terrible monster called NESSIE.
Uncle Ritch paddled on Loch Ness for one whole day until he got tired. Loch Ness was so big that he still had not reached the end. He put up his tent beside Loch Ness and went to sleep.
In the morning, Uncle Ritch started to paddle again. He had only been paddling for a few minutes when he heard a terrfying noise behind him. He looked back to see a horrible green monster racing up behind him.
Uncle Ritch paddled as hard as he could. Just as he thought all was lost, Nessie dived down under the little yellow boat. Uncle Ritch looked warily around him. He hoped Nessie had returned to the depths of the very deep loch.
Uncle Ritch headed back to the safety of the shore. But before he could get there, Nessie suddenly appeared on his left hand side.
This time, Uncle Ritch holds his ground. He lifts up his wooden paddle and pushes it deep into Nessie’s open mouth. Nessie gives out one last terrifying roar before slowly slipping below the surface, never to be seen again.
Uncle Ritch paddles on to complete his journey around the middle chunk of Scotland.
THE END
Love to Wendy and Anna King, and Isabella Mihill.
Your Uncle Ritchie.
Credits:
Original Photography: Malcolm from Cambridge
Special effects: Will King
One Man And His Boat 